Tenchu 4: Assassins of Insanity
by Dragon Lady9
Summary: A little something I like to call a Chibi-fic. All the characters are acting OOCkie. Apperacnes from a homosexual Onikage, a sex-crazed Ayame and a skittish Rikimaru. Also contains Shinobi characters. Let me know if I should continue with this. Rated R fo
1. Ass Is In Assassin Twice, You Know!

I don't own Ayame. I don't own Rikimaru. I don't own Master Shinsai. I don't own anything for that matter. All I own is a small cardboard shack in my Mother's front yard and a PS2, a Game cube and a computer. The only clothes on my back are Ducky pajamas. I have to walk three miles to school every day…wait; I don't even live three miles away…Never mind. Do you know how hard it is to waterproof a cardboard shack? It's only as hard as trying to wire one for electricity!

I'd just like to say that I beat Tenchu, Wrath of heaven at 3:00 in the morning

Friday 6/27/03. Did I get the date right? Anyway, I'd gotten Tenchu on Monday beaten it on Friday. I got mad skillz! As Ayame, I can't remember what happened! Baka Dragon Lady. I was tired and it was late. Can you blame me? What I'm trying to say is that if anyone has beaten Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven (Tenchu 3 in Britain, I think)

As Ayame, please tell me the storyline after Ayame beats the Doctor Kimaira person. THX, I will send you flowers. (Not really, as I went broke buying the cardboard.)

Gods, I talk to much…ON WITH THE FIC!!!! _

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Tenchu 4: Assassins of Insanity

By Dragon Lady

Chapter 1: There's A Reason Why The Word "Ass" Is In Assassin Twice!

            [Rikimaru awoke, slowly…painfully. He winced closed his eyes again, the light of day was too bright for him. All he remembered was defeating Tenrai…meeting up with Ayame…getting knocked unconscious from lack of energy. It was morning, he knew that much, he could see out the door of the hut he was in that the shadows were still a bit long.

He felt under him, a futon. He looked around the room, and finally his eyes landed on Ayame, the center of his affection, he just wished she weren't so eager about it.]

_Ayame_-Good morning, Koibito!  [Gazing into his eyes.] 

_Riki_-Wha-? What did you just…?

_Ayame_-Koibito?

_Riki_-Wait a sec, Ayame, did you…?

_Ayame_-Hee hee… You're a fast learner, Riki!

_Riki_-YOU MARRIED ME WHILE I WAS UNCONCIOUS?!?!?

_Ayame_-Well, not like you'd go through with it conscious!

_Riki_-Arg…Ayame, I think your okay and all, but...

_Ayame_-I love you too, Riki!

[Ayame pounced him, and tried to rip his shirt off with one of her blades. She threw away the blades and then tried to pry his legs open.]

_Ayame_-TAKE ME, RIKI!

_Riki_-Ack, Ayame, stop trying to pry my legs open!

_Ayame_-But Riki-Chan, please! As your wife, it's my obligation to screw you silly!

            [Ayame managed to rip Riki's pants off, and then she went for his shorts.]

_Riki_-Not the shorts, Ayame! Please, I'll…I'll…I'll do everything this time!

_Ayame_- Really?

_Riki_-Yes now, just close your eyes and lay down here…@_@

_Ayame_-/Oh wow…how I have waited for this day! / Okay, Riki, I trust you.

            [Rikimaru ran out of the hut.]

_Ayame_-Riki? Riiiiiikiiiiiiiii? You wouldn't be dumb enough to run away from me now, would you? I can sense Ki, you know.

            [Ayame jumped up and ran out of the hut, drawing her blades. Riki was running through the village like a madman, trying to escape her wrath.]

_Ayame_-You is an ass, Rikimaru!

_Riki_-/Get away! Get away! Get away! Get away! Get away! / x_X

_Villager_- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Run away, MAD NINJA WOMAN!

            [The entire village goes into a frenzy…one ninja dude jumps into the well]

_Shinobi Iishi_- Ouch…aw man, I'm stuck, help! Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!

            [Onikage jumps in front of Rikimaru, and Riki runs smack into him.]

_Riki_- Oh, sorry Onikage, didn't se you the-ONIKAGE! *Double take*

_Oni_- Hey, Rikicakes! And how are you today?

Riki-I'm not very good, you queer demon you! I'm trying to run away from my new "wife"!

_Oni_- /NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarriiiiiiieeeeeed! / *Puts on a fake smile* I'm so happy for you!  ¤_¤ Actually, I'm extremely jealous…so I'm gonna kidnap you and make YOU MINE! Muahahahahahahaha!

_Riki_- Oh, Gods, Dragon, do I have...to…him?

_Dragon_- Yeas….

_Riki_- Shit. Fuck. Damn.

[Onikage lifts Rikimaru up like a bride and jumps into the air.]

_Oni_- I'M AS GIDDY AS A SCHOOLGIRL!

_Shinobi Iishi_- [Sees from well] Haha! A gay demon kidnapped you! Ha ha ha ha-OOOOOOOOOOW! [Got hit in crotch with shuriken] _;

_Ayame_- Riki-Chan! [Runs to edge of building and outstretches hand]

_Riki_- Ayame! [Hand only brushes against hers as Onikage jumps away]

_Shinobi_- Hahahahahaha! [Holding bleeding privates]

_Riki_- Rage. Anger. Irritation. Humiliation.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Look for part two: Shinobi, Ayame, and Zhang!

_Shinobi_- Gods, My Di-

[Zhang silences him]

_Zhang_- you want this story to be rated R or supping?


	2. Plooshies, Butsa, Diarrhea, and Randomyn...

Heeeeeeey all!  I'd like to say thanks to every reviewer of every one of my fics! Esp. Poppy-chan and Bustahead. You peeps have supported me all the way…and for that, you must be in my fic. Sorry, I must honor you somehow! As for Betty Boop, she told me what happens in the end. What I want to know is when ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE A TENCHU GAME WHERE RIKI AND AYAME MAKE HOT, SPICY LOVE! Sorry…~sorryness~

READ! NOW!!

D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenchu 4: Assassins of Insanity

By: Dragon Lady9

          [Rikimaru comes to.]

_Riki_- Awwwww…hell…my head…my ASS!

          [Now realizing he's being well…you know… by Onikage.]

_Oni_- Shhh….Be still Riki-Chan…

_Riki_- Fuck you, I'm splittin!

          [Takes a nearby dildo and stabs him in the eye.]

_Oni_-Arrrrrrggggg! I've had this thing you-know-where!

          [Riki takes two steps and falls over from an ass cramp.]

_Riki_- [Rolling on floor.]

_Oni_- [Yanks Dildo out of his eye.] Awww…poor Riki! [Closing in on Riki.]

_Riki_- No! Get away! Don't you touch another follicle on me you…Ah!

          [Fade to black]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Ayame, Zhang, Shinobi Iishi, Lord Godha and Kiku and in Gohda Castle. Ayame is crying on Shinobi's shoulder over her lost Riki, and Zhang is consoling Kiku.]

_Ayame_- Ahhhhahahaha! My Riki…gone ~sob sob~

_Gohda_- Well, Ayame, all I can tell you is that you'll have to travel through the portal to a new land, and get our Riki back.

_Ayame_- ~sob sob sob~ Bastard…. ONIKAGE! IF YOU SO MUCH AS LAY A HAND ON MY RIKI, I'LL…I'LL…

[Picks up Shinobi and hurls him out the window.]

_Shin_- Ahhhhh! No! Not the sp- ~splat~ …spike bed…

_Zhang_- You'll be all right, Hunny!

_Shin_- ~Foaming at mouth and twitching~

_Ayame_- Well, I don't give a damn about what's-his-name, I'm goin after MY MAN!

[Zhang collects the broken Shinobi and follows after Ayame.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Ayame is blindly running through town at top speed.]

_Ayame_- ~huffhuffhuff~ ~splat~

???- Hey! What the hell? 

_Ayame_- @_@ shalafifinafu….

???- ~Smacks~ Snap out of it! Hey, aren't you the ninja chick who attacked your man yesterday? And then that demon stole him?

_Ayame_- Aight, Bitch, I'm gonna open a can of Whoop-ass on ya!

???- Whoa, hey! Wait…. My name is Bustahead, and I can help you!

_Ayame_- (^_^) Reeeeeeeeeeeeely?

_Busta_- ¬_¬ Really.

[Zhang and Shinobi get there]

_Ayame_- So…how far can you get us?

_Busta_- I will be able to take you to an area called Shoujo. Any farther that that and you're on your own.

_Shin_- Errrrr…why is it called "Shoujo"?

_Busta_- It is an area inhabited by only female ninja…

_Shin_, Ayame and Zhang- ¤_¤

_Busta_- but don't worry…nothing you guys won't be able to handle.

^______________________________________________________^

 ~Walkingness~

Ayame- So, how far is this walk? ^_^ ~Happy to try and get her Riki back~

Busta- Ohhhhhhh! Look, that stand is selling Devil May Cry plushies!

Shin- ~gets random diarrhea~ Awwwwww…Gawd. I GOTTA GO! ~Runs behind bush~

Zhang- Wow! I'm actually in this fic! I wonder what made him get the Trots like that?

Meanwhile~*_*~

Dragon- Muaahahahahahahahahaha! ~Writing in her notepad-thingy and listening to Gackt ~ And and and and…I'll use my magical authoress magic-y magic and make him get the…Ahhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! ~Lightning cracks~ ahahahahahahahahahaha ~eyebrows catch fire~…AHHHHHAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAH! ~Runs around screaming, trying to extinguish eyebrows~

Hotsuma- ~Grabs a water bucket~ ~dumps water~

Dragon- ~eyebrows flame up even more~ Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!!

Hotsuma- Whoooooooosie! Silly meh…seems that bucket was full of Kerosene…^V^

~Is happy to try and do me in~

Meanwhile~*_*~

[Shinobi is over his diarrhea]

Shin- awe…I must've shit out my brain….  

Ayame- Must have…~mutters~ a lot sooner than just now.

Zhang- Aiye

Busta- ~Hugging her 62nd Dante Plooshie~ ^O^

Dragon- HIIIIIIIII!

Shin- Stop Dragon…That's very random and immature of you!

Dragon- XP

Shin- DRAGON!

Dragon-  ~_~

Shin- Dragon…look at me Dragon!

Dragon- ~Looks~

Shin- now promise me you'll never do that again!

Dragon- Scouts honor!

Shin- Good ~hugs~

Dragon- ^________^ /Like I'm a scout! XD/ 

^_____________________________________________^

~sings~ And now I fear…our time has come…before I leave, I give you my LoooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooove! Sorry.

As of now, I'm holding a contest. Now let me give you a Lit lesson here. I have made several Allusions in this fic. Allusions are references to other things. Obviously I have refered to Devil May Cry in this Chapter. Now it is your job to find the other one. There is only ONE left. If you guess it right, I'll put you in a drawing to be in the next chappie? Sound kewl? Good! Now get to wooork!


	3. Girls, Girls, Girls, and Chickens

Hn. None of you could be BOTHERED TO REVIEW! Well Damn.Thanks to Riki and Fuji, anyway.  Only Shiei and Stabitha got it right. The answer was: When I said, "Like I'm a scout!" I was referring to Jackie Chan Adventures, when Jade promises Jacky she'll stay put. I'm sorry if you can't watch that program, and don't try to get revenge. I have been taking an Imodium A.D. after every meal to make sure Mr. Iishi doesn't exact his revenge. And for all you non-Southern readers…if you had paid attention to the context, diarrhea is also know as the "trots" here in the American south, I don't know of anywhere else. Hence the name, as you are trotting back and forth to the bathroom. Okay…gods, I hate culture. ~Belch~ The only one I have is bacteria. I thank Jenele once again…as she supplies me with my daily dose of Insanity. AH, Insanity…my ninjas will eventually kill you.

Guest Characters: Bustahead, Stabitha, Meari, Raven King

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenchu 4: Assassins of Insanity

Chapter 3: Girls, Girls, Girls, and Chickens

By: Dragon Lady

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Shinobi Iishi, Ayame, Zhang, and Bustahead are walking through the forest, laughin back an' forth at what the othern' has to say…0_0]

Narrator- THIS…IS THE STORY...OF TWO SHADOWS…BORN UNTO DARKNESS…AND DESTINED TO DIE…UNTO DARKNESS!

[The narrator spoke so abruptly that the ground trembled and the group is seriously shaken.]

Ayame- What the fuck??

Shin- @_@

Zhang- /Yaaaaaaaaay! He's unconscious…I can rape him now! / ~Rape rape~

Busta- I think it was the narrator…

Ayame- Why a narrator, in the middle of the freaking woods?

Dragon- He's talking about you and Riki!

Ayame- Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Waaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaa!

Busta- _

Dragon- ~makes magical duck tape appear over Ayame's mouth~

Shin- ~sees a random chicken~ CHICKEN! Petthechickenpetthechickenpetthechicken!

Zhang- Hey, how'd you come around so fast? Come back, baby!

[Everyone begins running after Shinobi]

Busta- Hey! Wait! You're going the wrong way! ~mumbles~ master ninjas, my a-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

~an earthquake occurs~

Ayame- ~falls off a cliff~ Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Zhang- AYAME! ~trips over a root and falls too~

Shin- ~has lost sight of the chicken and is looking over the edge of the cliff~ Damn, I lost all my Chicks down there!

Busta- \_/

Shin- O.o Sorry….

Busta- Uh-oh…

Shin- What is it, Buttahead?

Busta- IT'S BUSTAHEAD! ~bonks with an iron skillet~

Shin-X-x sorry….

Busta- They've fallen straight into Shojou…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ayame- ~wakes up to find she is tied to Zhang by her hair~

Stabitha-You woke up, finally! 

Ayame- WHO ARE YOU!!?!?!?!?!?!

Stabitha- Look two lines up, dear.

Ayame- ~reads~ sta-bit-ha. Alright, Sta-Bit-Ha! Let us go!

Stabitha- -_- I'm so glad you can read.

Ayame- Me too! ^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shin- ~actually being sensible and trying to sneak into the hut where Zhang and Ayame are~

Busta- ~running around indiscriminately killing ninja-girls with Arson-powers~

Shin- Aw, what the hell! ~following Busta's lead~

Stabitha- ~Drags Zhang and Ayame outside~ You there! Killing all my chicks!

Busta- \_/

Shin- She wasn't talking about you.

Stabitha-Okay…all remaining  ninjas, ATTACK!

Shin- ~sarcastically~ Oooooooooh noooooooooooooo! Were getting attacked my PMSing ninja ladies!

Ninja Lady 1- Say one more thing, and they're all over the side of the mountain!

Shin- What?

Ninja lady 2- Your nuts.

Shin- NOBODY threatens my nuts and gets away with it! LET'S KICK ASS GIRLS!

Busta- YAY, VIOLENCE! 

~enormously violent full-scale battle ensues~

Busta- ~shooting flame at everyone randomly and hits Shinobi in the ass~

Shin- YOWCH! ~pants have burned through, revealing his pinstriped underwear~ WATCH IT, BUST-HEADS!

Busta- \_/ It's BUSTAHEAD!

Zhang- There are too many of them!

Ayame- ~think think~ Hmmmmm…..I HAVE AN IDEA! ~rips shinobi's clothes off, picks him up, swings him around and send him flying~

Ninja girl 1- OMG! GET HIM! ^^  

~all the ninja chicks run after him~

Shin- ~off in the distance~ Now ladies, there's enough Shinobi to go arou- NOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ayame- Now, Stabitha! Fight me fairly!

Stabitha- I'm a jonin, you asshat, I don't have to fight you if I don't want to! I can just get one my lackeys out here…and… MEARI!

Meari- ~comes stumbling out of a hut~ GOD, WHAT!?!

Stabitha- Kill 'em. I need to order the Naked pictures of Brandon Lee!

Meari- ^0^ If I kill them , will you let me see them? 

Stabitha- Yep.

Meari- \_/ KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!

Bree- BILL!

Meari- ~shoves Bree out of the way~  DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIESINEVILDIE! BHURDS!

~birds come flying out of the attic of Stabitha's house~

Meari- PECK THE FUCKERS TO DEATH!

Bhurds- ~just land anywhere they want to~

Stabitha- ~from inside the house~ Nice going, Meari. You dork.

Meari- T_T I'M SORRY!

Stabitha- It's ordered!

Meari- Will you still let me see it when it gets here?

Stabitha- No. You Fucked up.

Meari- Grrrrrrrr…~black flames start to surround her~ CAW! CAW CAW CAW CAW! CAW CAW!

Ayame- What the hell is she doing?

Busta- It looks like, she's calling crows.

~crows begin to darken the sky~

Zhang- I hate crows…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raven King- HAHAHAHAHA! OW! DAMN SWORD! ~grabs the sword stuck in his chest~ DAMN MICHIZANE!

Zhang- HOLY SHIT! THAT IS ONE HONKIN CROW!

Raven King- I took my vitamins. They were shaped like the Flintstones.

Busta- oO;

Raven king- ~swoops down and attacks~

Zhang- Ayame, Busta, you deal with the big one! I'll get Meari!

Meari- Oh, crappity!

Zhang- ~barely touches Meari with the edge of her sword~

Meari- OOOOOOOOOOOOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! STAAAAAAAAAAAABBY, I'm BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDING!

~crows and raven king back off~

Stabitha- Meari, you're like, the WORST lackey I've ever had. GET BACK TO YOUR ROOST!

Meari- But-

Stabitha- NO! ~points to the attic~

Meari- Okay…~roosts~

Stabitha- Godz…have to do everything myself. ~takes out her yellow guitar~ Okay, lets go.

Ayame- You fight with a guitar?

Stabitha- ¯_¯; YES! ~plays a chord~

Ayame- ~clamps her hands over her ears~ OH! THE EAR SHATTERING NOOOOOOOOOOOISE! 

Stabitha- ~cackles~

Ayame- X_X

Stabitha- AWW YEA! WHO'S NEXT? Uh-oh…

~the sun is rising~

Stabitha- ACK! I'll be right back. ~running back to her house~ I'm not gonna make it!

~the sun rises fully, and Stabitha catches fire and turns to dust~

Stabitha- MEARI! GET YOUR ARSE OUT HERE AND SWEEP ME UP! Oh…nice doggy,…good doggy…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zhang- ~gathers Shinobi Iishi~

Ayame- and we're still nowhere near Riki, are we?

Busta- Heavens, NO!

Everyone- ~laughs~

Shin- God, what the hell are we laughing at? This is like some stupid cliché anime!

Zhang- You got that right!

~everyone starts laughing again~

Shin- STOP IT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE END ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the next chapter, I'll tell what all the allusions are, and add a new character or two.


End file.
